Ever since Top Gear reinvented itself in 2002, there has always been something of Last of the Summer Wine to the exploits of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. The show was always less about cars and more about three middle-aged men putting themselves in harm's way, presumably to silence the nagging thought that the universe is random and uncaring.
But it is now 2024. BBC's Top Gear gave way to Amazon Prime's The Grand Tour, which in turn gave way to a sporadic fistful of specials. Even these have run out of road, since the latest - One for the Road - is being marketed as Clarkson, Hammond and May's breakup album. This is the big finale. The end of an era.
And, in all honesty, it's about time. The Last of the Summer Wine comparisons have never been more apt than the first few moments of the new special. With the possible exception of Hammond, who appears to be constructed entirely from stem cells, everyone involved looks astonishingly clapped out. They lumber about, a mass of broken veins and laboured breathing, going through the motions at half-speed. It's still Last of the Summer Wine, but a version where you worry that Compo will keel over from gout at any minute.
In truth, the show has been over for a while. Ever since the moment that Clarkson, mad with stress and fame, punched a Top Gear producer in 2015 and got booted from the BBC, there has always been a sense that the trio have been twisting in the wind. The secret sauce of Top Gear, the grit that gave it traction, was the soap opera between the host and broadcaster.
Clarkson, Hammond and May were naughty little kids trying to get away with whatever they could, the BBC was the stern headmaster spoiling their fun. It was a delicate balance, but that tension is what made the show so compelling. When Amazon bought the format, it gave Clarkson a blank cheque and no feedback. As such, there was no tension whatsoever. It is hard to cause outrage in a corporate vacuum. Top Gear used to make headlines. The Grand Tour made far fewer. The specials barely even made the listings page. Watch the knackered, rote first scene of this new one and you will be utterly convinced that they were right to end it.
However, as One for the Road labours on, a funny thing happens. As they get into their adventure - driving across Zimbabwe - the years fall off them. Freed from expectation, and with markedly fewer contrived stunts than before, the hosts start having fun. It's like watching Cocoon.
Perhaps it's because they know this is the last time it will happen. There's certainly an elegiac mood going on. Clarkson mourns what he describes as his last televised skid. He mourns the death of the combustion engine. At one point someone hands him a local paper. The press have learned about his visit, and put him on the front cover. He reads from it, and sees the trio described as "superstars who made their name at Top Gear". He stops reading, then mutters ruefully to himself "and then blew it".
And now that's it. No more Grand Tour. And since Freddie Flintoff's crash in 2022, no more Top Gear either. For the first time in almost quarter of a century, we find ourselves in a world with no Clarksonesque car show on television. No more laddishness. No more woofing at engine noises. No more pub bore banter. No more SENTENCES ... that go like THIS.
Will it be missed? Probably not. The world has moved on. Tastes have changed. Even the hosts have pre-empted the end by moving on to things more suited to the times. Hammond has a car restoration show on Discovery. May has become surprisingly good at YouTube. And, thanks to the success of his softer - some might even say woke - farming show, Clarkson has found himself busier than ever as he attempts to turn as much of the Cotswolds as he can into a Jezzaland funfair car park.
But, still, this era is now decisively closed. It was an era that could be boorish and maddening in equal measure, and only fitfully entertaining towards the end. But it was an era nonetheless. And now it's over.
* The Grand Tour: One for the Road is on Prime Video now.