This is a follow up to a previous column on invisible men, which touched on the absence of a traditional man in the lives of young boys. There are adult males who are not presenting the healthy qualities and attributes of a mature and responsible man.
These are, for lack of a better term, grown boys but are not grown men. There is a healthy generation of males well over the age of 21 who are still emotionally and mentally demonstrating the behavior of immature boys.
For one reason or another, there is a deficiency in the qualities that are necessary for boys to grow into mature and responsible men. What are the five key ingredients in the recipe to transform a boy into a man?
1. Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence is often overlooked but it is at the core of personal development. It encompasses the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, as well as the ability to recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others.
For a boy growing into manhood, developing EI is crucial. It involves empathy, self-regulation, and effective communication. A boy who is emotionally intelligent will learn to handle adversity with grace and will develop stronger relationships, both personally and professionally.
Encouraging boys to express their feelings in a healthy manner, teaching them to be quick to listen, and diligent how they respond. A man who does not have control of his emotions is dangerous to himself and those around him.
2. Resilience
The road to maturity is riddled with challenges, and resilience -- the ability to bounce back from setbacks -- is a critical quality. Resilient individuals don't view failure as a defeat but as a learning opportunity.
They develop the strength to weather life's inevitable storms and emerge stronger. Teaching boys' resilience involves encouraging them to face problems head-on, helping them to understand that failure is not fatal, and supporting them in trying again after setbacks.
Building resilience empowers boys to persevere through difficulties and emerge with invaluable lessons, will ensure that they become men who thrive under pressure rather than buckle. We all are going to experience disappointments, losses and setbacks in life. The ability to take an "L" and keep on moving forward is critical for any man.
3. Responsibility
Responsibility goes beyond merely fulfilling duties; it encompasses accountability and integrity. It is about doing what needs to be done, acknowledging mistakes, and striving to make things right.
Boys need to learn the significance of being reliable and trustworthy, understanding that their actions have consequences. This can be developed by assigning chores, setting expectations, and trusting them with age-appropriate decisions.
Encouraging responsibility from a young age helps boys grow into men who are dependable and who contribute positively to their communities. Being mentored by a responsible man who models responsible behavior is necessary for a boy to grow into a responsible adult.
4. Respect
Respect for oneself and others is fundamental to building meaningful relationships and living harmoniously in society. Boys should be taught to see beyond themselves, to value others' opinions, rights, and dignity, regardless of differences.
Respect also includes self-respect, which means understanding personal boundaries and exercising self-discipline. Parents and mentors can nurture this quality by modeling respectful behavior, discussing the importance of diversity and inclusion, and teaching the significance of listening and understanding others' perspectives.
The lack of respect that a boys has for others will hinder his ability to give and obtain respect as a man
5. A sense of purpose
Having a sense of purpose can guide boys toward making meaningful contributions to the world. Purpose gives life direction and motivation, steering one's choices and actions. It isn't something that can be assigned; rather, it must be discovered through experiences, reflection, and exploration of interests.
Encouraging boys to discover their passions, set goals and pursue ambitions helps them find purpose. When a boy understands why he does what he does, he becomes more focused and driven, laying the groundwork for a life of fulfillment and impact.
The journey to manhood is personal and unique, yet cultivating these five qualities -- emotional intelligence, resilience, responsibility, respect, and a sense of purpose -- can significantly impact a boy's growth into a mature and responsible man. It is our duty to nurture these traits in the young boys of today, by ensuring a generation of thoughtful, strong, and capable men tomorrow.
Deon D. Price is an author and youth life skills coach who lives in Fairfield. He can be reached at www.deondprice.com or [email protected].