DEAR ABBY: I'm a mature male who had a weight problem years ago. When I turned 50, I was diagnosed with metabolic syndrome, hypertension and diabetes. I took my doctor's advice about diet and 150 minutes of exercise a week. Fast-forward to today, and I have lost almost half my body weight and am now in good shape.

My problem now is finding women near or around my age who have the same dedication to exercise and fitness. It is nearly impossible to find a partner who shares the same values. I have tried dating sites, and almost always get catfished. I go on dates, but if I'm not physically attracted to someone, things don't get out of the "friend zone."

I feel physical attraction drives a good part of a healthy relationship. I value having friends, but finding someone who can run, bike, kayak, etc., is, to me, vital to a successful relationship. Should I settle to have someone to spend time with, or keep the faith and hope I find a woman I'm attracted to? I've had little luck finding a compatible partner. Am I too picky, given that a lot of people don't or won't take care of themselves? -- DISCOURAGED IN MEMPHIS

DEAR DISCOURAGED: Physical attraction is important, but what attracts us to others varies from person to person. You don't have to be lonely. Because physical fitness is so important in your life in addition to chemistry, continue to look online. If you do, you will find there is more than one dating site geared to folks who are interested in health and fitness. I wish you luck.

** ** **

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

** ** **

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)