Pink ribbons abound, fighting with monsters for top spots in the stores. It's October, yet again. The month we celebrate monsters and scary things, including the most terrifying thing of all - Cancer.

Before 2019, I was indifferent about breast cancer. I knew several people who had breast cancer, even one who died because of it. As a nurse, I fully supported the push to get women in for mammograms and encouraged them to do monthly breast checks.

For myself, though, I wasn't worried about breast cancer. It did not run in my family. Few people in my extended family had ever been diagnosed with cancer. I figured, if I ever got cancer, I would be quite old. At 43, I felt young still.

That did not mean I planned on ignoring the screening guidelines. I was set to have my first mammogram at the age of 45, my first colonoscopy at 60, do the DEXA scans, and have yearly appointments with my doctor. You know, be a good adult and do the screenings, when I was older.

I was a fairly healthy person. I didn't smoke or drink. I tried to stay somewhat active. I ate healthy, for the most part. The one thing I was struggling with was my weight. At that time, I was not winning, just holding steady.

Back then, I was working pre- and post-op care at the local hospital. Sometimes, certain types of surgical needs come in groups. We'd remove a bunch of appendices for a few months, then not see any for half a year. Instead, we'd remove a lot of gallbladders for another few months. The few months before my breast cancer diagnosis, we did a slew of armpit abscesses. So, when I found a lump in my armpit, I assumed it was just an infected lymph node.

But, the node did not hurt, there was no redness or swelling, and I wasn't running a fever. I still assumed it was nothing, but I decided to have it checked out anyway, as a good example.

I'm glad I did. At that time, it was stage 3 breast cancer. If I had left it alone, it could have quickly gone to stage 4.

I still think Breast Cancer Awareness is important. I still encourage my patients to be screened as early as possible. I still support those pink ribbons over the monsters.

But, I still hate it. The reminder of when my body betrayed me, of all that I went through, and all the women who are still going through it.