Building a network is key to moving forward in a career. But many people aren't comfortable going into networking situations. What are some things they can do to navigate networking events in a way that makes them feel more comfortable and makes a good impression at the same time?
"Many people feel uncomfortable with the idea of networking because it suggests talking to strangers, making small talk," says Dr. Diane Rosen, a career coach and president of the business/HR consultancy dr-squared Consultants. "Networking at the core just means making connections with others based on interests, community and common experience. It does not have to mean walking into a room full of strangers and making friends or handing out your card to 25 people."
To take some of the anxiety out of networking experiences, business pros offer several suggestions:
Set objectives
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"Clearly define objectives for attending the networking event, like being able to meet two new contacts or learning what is happening in a certain industry trend," says Michael Collins, HR manager and owner of Sphere IT.
Rob Boyle, marketing operations director at Airswift, echoes that advice and suggests setting big-picture goals instead of a detailed agenda when heading to a networking event.
"This is where I find a balanced, middle-ground approach is helpful. If you go into the event with an over-detailed agenda or schedule, then that can be another source of stress that will end up making you less comfortable," Boyle says. "Examples of good goals could be to make a connection with five people or to give out a certain number of business cards. Make it something that's trackable and measurable and that feels achievable to give yourself the best shot of feeling like the event was a success."
Plan your introduction
Prepare a brief elevator pitch to tell people about yourself.
"While it's smart to keep the focus mostly on other people, you will still likely get questions about who you are and what you do," Boyle says. "Having an answer ready to go that quickly gives people a summary of what you do and who you are as a professional will make you feel more comfortable answering these questions because you won't feel like you're at a loss for what to say, or like you're stumbling over your words trying to answer these questions on the fly."
Prepare talking points
"Research in advance the positioning of attendees or topics so that you have applicable conversation starters," Collins says, noting that that kind of preparation can help enhance conversations and lower anxiety.
Rosen also recommends having a plan for what she calls "an opening salvo." One "salvo" Rosen suggests: "I noticed that you are here from XYZ company. I would love to learn about the business."
"Your opener can be work specific or more general, such as commenting on the venue. Have several potential openers and follow up ideas," she says.
Do targeted networking
For example, if going to a large industry function, focus on speaking with one or two people, Rosen says.
Practice your opening pitch
"A way to get more comfortable with the idea of networking is to practice, whether with other people or in the mirror, so that you are ready to initiate conversations," Rosen says.
Don't panic
Move on if the other person is not particularly responsive.
"Don't catastrophize and assume that because the conversation didn't work out with that person that you have failed," Rosen says. "Consider it an experience and recalibrate to speak to someone else."
Try virtual events first
Starting with virtual networking events or online forums can make interactions seem less daunting, Collins says.
Be an active listener
"Be sure to focus on actively hearing others rather than what you will say next," Collins says. "Active listening shows interest and facilitates further connections."
Follow up
Reach out via email or a professional network like LinkedIn.
"Personalize messages to refer to certain conversations or the points of common interest that existed to keep the connections alive," Collins says.
Show self-compassion
"Realize that it is rather difficult for most of us to network," Collins says. "Go easy on yourself and count the small victories like the times you started a conversation or exchanged contact information."
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