T.O.P, aka Choi Seung-hyun, former member of BIGBANG, is finally breaking his silence about his drug scandal -- 11 years later.
In an emotional interview with The Korea Herald posted on Thursday, January 16, Choi opened up for the first time in over a decade, reflecting on his struggles and how they shaped him.
"Since it's my first interview in 11 years, a lot has happened, and I came here with careful consideration, thinking it was the right time. I feel a mix of emotions, including a sense of apology, but today, I sincerely want to share many honest thoughts in this space," he said.
ICYMI, Choi faced intense backlash and legal trouble in 2017 after being convicted of marijuana use in South Korea. He received a 10-month suspended jail sentence, which sent his life in a downward spiral.
"In my 20s, I made huge mistakes, and the dark times I faced then led me down a path I had never been on before. What followed was a truly hellish period of darkness, during which I became emotionally devastated," he shared. "I experienced profound psychological deterioration and intense self-loathing."
During this tough period, an unexpected opportunity came his way -- the chance to audition for season 2 of Squid Game.
"Then I received an offer to audition for the role of Thanos. Like any other actor, I recorded a video and sent it in. After meeting with the director and going through several rounds of cross-checks, I was cast," Choi revealed. "If it hadn't been Thanos, I wouldn't have taken on the role. It was an extremely difficult decision for me, given my past mistakes. But Thanos was a character I had to confront head on -- not a righteous figure, but a stereotypically failed, pathetic hip-hop loser. That aspect gave me the courage to step forward."
Playing Thanos wasn't just acting for Choi -- it was a mental battle.
"The film set had hundreds of actors and crew members present. When we shot the scene where Thanos takes drugs, I found myself in a very embarrassing situation, which was quite psychologically challenging for me," he admitted.
He added, "However, I believed it was my responsibility to overcome this as part of my role, and that determination was what kept me going."